Honestly, enough is enough. The war is over. Sure it was a war that made the U.S. look awesome, but these movies, TV-series, TV-films, "documentaries", PBS-specials --it's just gotta stop. I mean we're freaking going overboard. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that between 1949 and now absolutely nothing has happened of any political or social consequence. Hell, we practically forgot 9/11 in comparison to how much we talk up WWII!

America, this is an intervention to end our addiction to the "glory" days. We've changed A LOT since then, and it's time to face facts.

Now one might wonder why have I all of the sudden exploded in rage about this issue. I mean the moment Pearl Harbor came out I should've just KNOWN it had gone too far. But no, the catalyst for my anger happened yesterday as THIS trailer came on during my regularly scheduled programming





Now I realize that this is a Quentin Tarentino film, and with that comes the fact that it will be ingloriously bloody and unrealistic. Also, that WWII was a WORLD war and affected all parts of the globe in different ways so there are tons of stories and experiences that can be vastly different from each other. But it still doesn't change the fact that America can't stop eating up these WWII movies. Saving Private Ryan, Flags of Our Fathers, that new series Band of Brothers, The Pianist, Atonement, The Grey Zone, Saints and Soldiers, Letters from Iwo Jima, Schindlers List, Life is Beautiful (it's Italian but extremely popular in the States), Windtalkers, Uprising.....the list goes on and on and on...Not to mention all the movies that have vignettes about the war within their storylines, I bet I can name a few without even thinking...Big Fish, The Five People You Meet In Heaven, The Notebook...well that wasn't hard.

The reason why I think it's so bad to just focus on ONE period of time in the U.S. is that we're literally going to forget what the hell actually happened during the war. Some people might think all these movies are patriotic and ways to remember how soldiers and citizens died for their countries, freedom and democracy and yadda yadda, but so many of these movies are turning a horrifying decade-and-a-half into legend. I wish I could be around for the time where history books start saying the Western Powers won because the god of Bald Eagles vanquished a mighty Japanese Phoenix in a battle over Germany and the Eagle swallowed the Phoenix and got a big BULGE in its stomach --hence, Battle of the Bulge. Keep making WWII movies, Quentin, because this is the future you're leading us to!!!!

200 years from now (if humanity is lucky to be alive that long) we're going to be SO lucky to remember who Hitler, FDR, Stalin, and Chamberlin WERE rather than their trademark looks (little moustache, wheelchair/glasses, big moustache, fat/bowler hat). We're setting ourselves up for disgracing the efforts of a generation that has started to die off and will no longer be able to defend itself against HOLLYWOOD and other creators of cheap fiction. These people actually fought against the Nazis and it was not as fun as Brad Pitt makes it seem. At least, I'm pretty sure my grandparents wouldn't appreciate it.

I can't even give these directors/writers/producers any credit because it's just too easy to make a movie against a universal enemy. Who here could honestly say they like the Nazis? No one unless you're some racist zealot and have already alienated yourself from society. I mean it requires no thinking, imagination, creativity, or critical thought process whatsoever. Just throw up a few swastikas, blood, a few sculpted American youths with cutesy accents, and have us win every conflict and battle over and over again. --I mean the victor gets to write history.

I give credit to those movie makers and story tellers that try to stick tight to the facts as much as possible, but in the end they're all just trying to entertain more than educate. I can't tell you how many bogus stories I've heard about how "Hitler's homosexual tendencies drove him to kill the Jews" or that it was b/c he couldn't paint on the History Channel (i'm not kidding, i wouldn't make that up). I mean really? It had nothing to do with the fact that the guy was a powerhunger pyscho that would do anything to convince people to follow him so he could get his way???

I mean I guess in the end we can't erase history, especailly when it's an era with the global scope of WWII, so movies/books/shows will continue to show WWII-themed things -and I don't have a problem with that. I just wanna know why we gotta OD on WWII. I mean LOTS of stuff happened in the last century. Let's talk about that? Maybe? Yeah? Hell, shit is happening right now. Where is my Nigerian-oil-crisis movie? Where's the movie about the 2.5 decades of Somali insurrection and instability? What about the military junta in Mynnmar?

Ugh. I'm just sick and tired of these gory, fantasy WWII movies. I'm glad I got that outta my system.

*~*~*~*
Happy Birthday Louis Armstrong! :D (I had to put up 2)

No, I'm not trying out a trendy, weird fetish for vampires (in case you didn't pick up: "If I Was Your Vampire" by Marilyn Manson). Oh the joys of a nearly decade(!) old playlist on shuffle. haha.

But speaking of fads (and i would probably never post this if Xanga was still "in"), I did try out a pretty crazy/popular diet. Omg, DIET. wtf?!?!?! haha. yeah so I embellished my quest for dropping a few pounds (other than the routine exercising/watching my food) when i heard of "the master cleanse." haha i mean it sounds pretty crazy when you first hear it, but after hearing about the people who've used it and had success with it, i mean i felt that i stood a chance to try it, and the fact that it would only last 10 days didn't seem so bad.

Long story short: I couldn't make it to day 3. I survived all of day 1 & 2 (yesterday and today)

Tomorrow morning I'm going to have me the best omelet EVER, maybe some toast, omg and greek yogurt with honey, and a banana! and a mango some time tomorrow, too.

But what made me stop this diet? Okay well, and it seems foreboding when you read it, but lemme just describe the diet a bit. For ten days you're not allowed to eat ANY solid food. Instead your only source of nourishment is a 2 liter concoction of:

• lemon juice
• grade B maple syrup (yum!)
• filtered/purified water
• cayenne pepper

and as much water as you want throughout the day. Also, you have to start the day w/ a "salt water flush" and end the day with a laxative tea. The salt water flush entails DOWNING 32 oz. of SALT WATER first thing in the morning. That was probably the worst part of it for me. I mean I really thought I could do it, but have you ever drank salt water b4, or even 32 oz of any liquid in a matter of minutes? Lemme tell you about worst nightmare...

Okay, and this does sound like a crazy idea to do this for 10 days, but I wouldn't do it if it were all crazy. i mean Beyonce lost 22lbs in 14 days following this regimen and it's been around for almost 70 years. Also, the short term-ness of it appealed to me. I mean I could potentially lose 10 lbs in 10 days! WOW! and i won't die!

yeah, no.

So this is what happened:

yesterday i did great job of not eating any solids. I drank the salt water (barely) and i even went to the gym early in the morning! but today was different. I got my period for one thing, and i had migraines all morning. more than anything i just wanted to sleep (after 12 hours of sleep!), but i couldn't because my headaches were too strong. i took probably 6 ibprofein in 8 hours ( i dunno if that is good or bad but it's more than usual for me).

Later, I felt so fatigued, no matter how much of the "lemonade" i drank, it was never enough. I'd get a burst of energy and then feel like a pile of BLAH right after. There was no way I could've gone to the gym either. I mean I wrestled my little sister for like...5 minutes and was breathing hard for like 15 minutes afterward.

HONESTLY, I mean I feel guilty/miserable/frustrated that it's been so hard for me to lose weight over the past few years, but if it comes down to feeling like crap for 10 days and not being able to even EXERCISE like I want to, then forget it. I mean I'd rather be strong and energetic and slowly work the weight off (oh and i mean slowwwwwwwww), then to literally starve myself.

I mean DAMN, i didn't get any work done today. NOTHING. I mean the testimonials of this diet say "you get an energy boost later after day 3 or 4," but eff that. what happens when i wanna eat regular food later? my body will probably freak the hell out AGAIN. Nahhh this is more trouble than its worth. I mean I dropped like 5 pounds already (mostly water), but this fatigue, yucky white coating on my tongue, the want/need to exercise, constant want to eat REAL food....it's just not worth it.

These past couple days really put things in perspective for me. I mean my body isn't great, but I'm not willing to put all my chips in to make it better. I'm not morbidly obese or anything I'm still 10lbs away from "overweight"....i just gotta drop some vanity pounds. I mean the way I was going before finals...working out 5-6 days a week, eating mostly vegetables, that wasn't really MELTING away the pounds, but I felt better/stronger/faster. i mean i'm sure that under the 1-2 inch layer of fat on my stomach there was a SICK 6-pack forming -and i'm not being modest cuz it's true.

yeeeeahhh fuck it man. i'm just gonna go back to that. exercise and healthy eating. Stronger and healthier body is where i'm headed now -even if it means not being as thin as I wanted to be, and i don't care if people judge me b/c I look too chubby, or if shallow people tell me that "i have a pretty face" and that the rest of me doesn't really keep up. I know I'm healthy. I play soccer/rugby/swimming, I work out at the gym, I walk most places (except the past two days lol), I make sure I eat enough vegetables, I study HARD and get GOOD grades, I'm interviewing for an internship Wednesday and I'm in the running for two AMAZING internship opportunities....am I really going to let 10 vanity pounds get in the way of my wellness and happiness? Nahhh, i'm not starving myself to fit some lame expectation for a young woman. This is what I got, this is what I'm going to work with.

I know those pounds will come off, they definitely will, but in time. In a healthy way, in the way I want to lose them.

*~*~*~*

Overall: I don't regret doing this weird ass diet, it taught me something about myself and who I want to be as a person. It showed me that I should be happier with myself and not put my health at risk for menial wants.

And I'm thinking about going back to eating meat again...just thought I'd THROW that in there. I mean not a full-blown carnivore, but just from time-to-time. =]

*~*~*~*

Fuck y'all, I'm wearing that bikini this summer.

Chris Brown Beats Up Rihanna (Street Fighter)

So SUMMER. It's practically upon us with all this gorgeous 80+ dregree weather, i mean GODDAMN. Spring apparently does not exist in Syracuse, or if it does it was only a day long: Mayfest. All of the sudden we went from like 30s/40s to high 70s/80. Hell, I'm not complaining, it's awesome, but so strange.

What I AM complaining about, however, is how distracting this weather is. The past two days I have not been able to concentrate on studying at all. I literally just go outside and just walk around to enjoy the warmth and the sun. I feel so lazyyy. haha. It's really phenomenal a little sun can change your environment so drastically. The colors people wear, the look of SU's campus, my mood, other people's moods, even professors! like wow. If all 4 months of break are going to be like this, I have no complaints.

*~*~*~*

But of course, I always have complaints, I mean I wouldn't have Xanga if I were always content with life, right?

It's weird beause this summer I'm complaining because I have too many awesome things planned --I don't know what to choose! Okay I'm just going to post various summer 2009 scenarios and I'm sure you'll understand what I mean.

*~*~*~*

Summer #1
MADD CONCERT SEASON! omgggg. Okay so we're looking at BLINK-182 getting back together and then teaming up for a summer tour with WEEZER. I am SO going cuz they just GOTTA stop by PNC Arts Center or NYC somewhere, they just GOTTA. Then there's NO DOUBT coming back together and touring this summer and they're stopping at PNC Arts Center. Then, finally, OFFSPRING is going on tour for 2 months and stopping in Sayresville, NJ in June. I've been waiting like 7 years for them to see them in concert, I'm not missing this opportunity, especially when it costs only $39.95, haha.

THEN, if I really work my ass off at IHOP or somewhere else, there's the epic first-time roadtrip: LOLLAPOLOOZA in Grant Park, Chicago. I already calculated how much it would cost to drive there, stay three nights, and bring Joan with me the entire time and I've put it in the ballpark of about $750-$820. Yeah, it's pretty fucking steep, but have you seen the lineup??( http://2009.lollapalooza.com/). EPIC, yo. Just to name a few: BEASTIE BOYS, KAISER CHIEFS, ARTIC MONKEYS, TOOL, THE KILLERS, RISE AGAINST, SANTIGOLD...omg.

Oh and in the mean time, madd Jersey Shore status all summer long. Basically, the NJ Summer '08 I missed last year.

Summer #2
Okay so we all know that I applied to like a million internships. Well, after finally deciding that I'm doomed and won't get accepted into any of the programs, lo and behold I get a response to participate in a second round of applications for the intern-team in Sen. Lautenberg's Newark Office this summer. It's a 20-25 hour/week unpaid internship that basically shits on my summer, BUT is epically awesome for my resume. Okay, "shitting" on my summer is pretty strong, but it puts many of those concerts in jeapordy because I won't be able to have a full-time job to have any $$ on the side. ALSO, if I work this summer anyway, a lotta that money will go to paying off my loans, so pocket money will really be shot.

However, if I do get accepted to this internship, I'm totally going to stick with it. It's too good of an opportunity to waste. Plus, it's only 20-25 hours a week right? And it's just ONE summer, I really gotta get my priorities straight in this case. Work > summer. =/

Summer #3
My dad and I were talking a couple weeks ago back when I thought I would get deined from all my internships, and he basically told me that maybe I should consider spending some time in China this summer. um, AWESOME..chyeah. Well, after weeks of discussion and calculation to send Daisy, Mary, and I to his parents' for a month, he finally said yes. Followed shortly by a no, and then a maybe. So China is on the table this summer, for sure. But like I said w/ scenario #2, if I get that internship, no China.

I'm kinda split on China atm for another reason. Jr year spring semester I'm going to study abroad in Beijing, it's not Nanjing where my dad's from, but it's China nonetheless. I could always try to make my way one weekend to visit during my jr year, and it'll be better especially because I'll have some kind of Chinese language skills by that time. But I mean I've NEVER seen my Chinese family before -ever. I mean my gparents are like 83 now, who knows if they'll be around in two years; it's sad but a serious thing to consider. In a way I feel kind of greedy pressuring my dad to send me and my sisters when money is tight and when I'll go there later anyway, but...it isn't the same.

Summer #4 -aka summer of  responsibility
If I get denied the internship, don't go to any concerts (ok well Offspring at LEAST), and work full-time. I'll save all my money for loans and to pay "family expenses" as my dad says. Yeah, apparently it's time Fay starts contributing. Yikes. Yeah this is the aboslute suckiest choice, I mean, I'll do it b/c my dad's right, I should start saving my money, but I feel like it's too early for me to start bringing family income? no? maybe? i have no idea.

*~*~*~*

So ya'll understand my inner conflicts, right? And in the mean time I got mad hw/studying to do for FINALS. --First one is Thursday at 8AM (French) and second one is right after at 1015AM (Politics in Latin America).-- But ya know after splurging all these thoughts across the digital universe, I'm starting to feel a little better about it. Like I'm more apt to just let whatever happens to play out, and take what I get. I mean 3 of 4 of those summer options are pretty good, so there's a 75% chance of success, right? Right. So....à demain.

wonder how it was always up to you, and no one else and,
Early mornings, made by warnings, what's the point of the alarm that I'm ignoring?
It's either raining, I'm not complaining, but waking up is hard to do so,

Turn my head its back to bed with no delay, can't be bothered by the phone ten times a day,
Why get up my morning doesn't even start till two?
Forget reality waking up is hard to do.

Remember when we would hang out every day, and we would rather,
Not be told what to do or what to say, Cause nothing mattered.
Never boring with slept in mornings, not ashamed of bad habits that I'm forming.
Its not important if days are shortened, I can't make time when nothings new,
Cause waking up is hard to do so,

Turn my head its back to bed with no delay, can't be bothered by the phone ten times a day,
Why get up my morning doesn't even start till two?
Forget reality waking up is hard to do.

What's a day when it all ends up the same, and lasts forever?
Can't complain when there's nothing there to blame, and things can't be better.
Summer evenings, teenage grievings, got no problem with the life that I've been leading.
No concentration on hesitation, I can't make time when nothings new, Cause waking up is hard to do so!

Turn my head its back to bed with no delay, can't be bothered by the phone ten times a day,
Why get up my morning doesn't even start till two?
Forget reality waking up is hard to do.

*~*~*~*

One word: hopeless.